Lane Sarasohn - Sample Writings

CLUB COMMERCIAL

Written for "This Just In"
(Moffitt-Lee Productions, ABC)

(COMMERCIAL PARODY)

UP ON: CLOSE UP OF POLICEMAN SPEAKING WOODENLY TO CAMERA. AS HE SPEAKS, SHOT WIDENS

OFFICER SCHREBNEK
Hello, I am officer Ed Schrebnek. I worry
about crime and I'm sure you do, too. That's
why I'm here to tell you about a wonderful
new product for the purpose of self-protection
I call A Club.
THE SHOT IS NOW WIDE ENOUGH FOR US TO SEE THAT HE IS HOLDING A BIG HEAVY CLUB LIKE A CAVEMAN MIGHT POSESS
A Club can be carried in one hand and when
properly used can inflict severe bodily injury.
OFFICER SCHREBNEK IS NOW JOINED BY AN EQUALLY WOODEN FEMALE POLICE OFFICER CARRYING A BIG DESIGNER COLOR CLUB WHO ALSO SPEAKS TO CAMERA
FEMALE OFFICER
Ed is right. Muggings, rapes, and assaults are
all on the rise, but when you're carrying A
Club others are afraid of you.
OFFICER SCHREBNEK
Legal in most states...
CUT TO: ART CARD SHOWING FIVE CLUBS IN PRETTY PASTEL COLORS
OFFICER SCHREBNEK (CONT'D)
...A Club is now available in five designer
colors.
INSERT: HEAD SHOT OF OFFICER SCHREBNEK IN CORNER OF ART CARD
OFFICER SCHREBNEK (CONT'D)
So don't be a schlub -- pick up A Club.
ANNOUNCER VO
On sale now at B'rer Bear's, Alley Oop's,
Bopmarts and Smash & Save.
MATTE: B'RER BEAR'S, ALLEY OOP'S, BOPMART, SMASH & SAVE
OUT.