Lane Sarasohn - Sample Writings

MASTERBANK'S SENIOR CARD

Written for "Not Necessarily the News"
(Moffitt-Lee Productions, HBO)
(COMMERCIAL PARODY)

UP ON: AN ATTRACTIVE YOUNG BANK OFFICER IS SEATED BEHIND HER DESK TALKING TO A CUSTOMER, A MAN IN HIS FIFTIES WEARING A SUIT. WE DO NOT HEAR THEM
ANNOUNCER VO
When you turn 55 you become eligible for
Masterbank's Senior Silver Card. With the
Silver Card you'll save 10% on every
purchase.
MAN HOLDING SILVER CARD GETS UP TO GO
But that's not all.
VERTICAL WIPE TO: SAME BANK OFFICER, NOW TALKING TO A WOMAN ABOUT 75
FEMALE OFFICER
Because at 75 you'll automatically receive
Masterbank's Senior Gold Card. It's good
for a full 15% off at stores, restaurants, and
hotels all across America.
WOMAN WITH CANE AND GOLD CARD GETS UP TO GO
But even that's not all.
VERTICAL WIPE TO: SAME BANK OFFICER, NOW TALKING TO A REALLY OLD GUY IN A WHEEL CHAIR
Because at 100 you'll receive Masterbank's
Senior Platinum Card. It's good for twenty...
THE ELDERLY MAN IN THE SCENE PUTS HIS HAND TO HIS EAR, LIKE HE CAN'T HEAR WHAT THE YOUNG BANK OFFICER IS SAYING
I said TWENTY!
THE ELDERLY MAN MOUTHS "TWENTY?"
That's right: TWENTY PER CENT off
everything you buy!!!!
A NURSE ENTERS AND WHEELS THE OLD MAN HOLDING HIS PLATINUM CARD RIGHT UP TO CAMERA
With Masterbank's Senior Cards you, too,
will say...
OLD MAN
It just keeps getting better.
MATTE: MASTERBANK'S SENIOR CARD "It just keeps getting better."
OUT.